Parenthood and empathy

My father is someone who never speaks when he has his meal. That is a rule. He will nod in response if you start a conversation with him, but he himself prefers complete silence.

Today, he broke that vow for me. I found that heartening. Honestly, I don’t want to disrupt his practice, because I know how important it is for him to focus on the food. In fact I admire that practice, and at times do it myself.

I had a very difficult day at work yesterday, something that did not agree with me happened. And it felt unfair for a bit, later on I figured it is what it is. But when it felt unfair, I told my parents about it. My mother was on her feet with empathetic response, she knew the right things to say, and responded very well. I adore her for that.

My father responded as well, as in he gave a keen listen, he told me not to worry. In the end they both gave me confidence that I am going to do well in life.

That said, today for some reason my father wished to talk to me about the incident at lunch. He started telling me stories about how he faced similar situations. And how he overcame it, and he even became closer to his former boss post retirement, irrespective of whatever took place during their time in the company.

I realised later, that my father showed verbal empathy. That is very rare for him. Especially after his stroke, and all the difficulties he faced in the last one year, my father chose to show me empathy: someone who simply had a very small bad day. I saw him in a completely different light. I felt extremely humbled by this behaviour of his, and even understood that I have such a long way to go.

While we all have our differences, my parents have definitely showered more love upon me than I can give back. I do give back, but in the love scenario — they have the upper hand and I am forever grateful to the universe for blessing me with such an amazing family.

It is a form of strength.

That said, I should also understand that my day to day job related problems should not become a part of dinner table conversations as they either generate worry or anxiety within them, which is definitely not what I would want for them.

Have you ever had any such experiences with your family, wherein they responded in a way you never expected?