Sense of faith
I am not a religious person. I cannot emphasize this more, before I write this blogpost. I don’t disrespect the idea of religion, I think it can be a beautiful concept if executed well. But, my analytical and questioning mind cannot stand the idea of ‘rituals’ followed blindly.
That said, recently I encountered faith.
I spend most of my time reading. Reading books, articles or podcasts. I basically spend a lot of time taking in information instead of spewing out. All the contemplation that happens afterwards, only happens in my head. And occasionally I discuss ideas with friends or family.
This means my social life is pretty tight and neat, and so is my personal time schedule. I have a lot of ‘me-time’ in this world which I kinda enjoy. Although, I am an extrovert and settle quite well into a social situation. I am probably an ambivert. Anyways, this blog is not to analyse ‘who i am’.
I have a tendency to analyse and overanalyse a lot of situations. But ever since I have faced a dramatic change in my domestic life, I am seeing life in a completely different vein.
After my father’s stroke, I have encountered faith. Not in the religious sense.
I realise nothing is in my control, instead I only need to keep faith in life. For everything.
For example: Previously I had a deep anxiety about losing my job. Being in digital media, and especially in a company which recently laid people off, the anxiety only grew deeper. But now, I always wonder what will life bring to me in case such a situation should ever arise.
The root cause of all anxieties is lack of faith. It is that simple.
The minute you lack faith, life seems horrible, life seems pretty much worthless and a drag. But the moment you gather faith, you feel invincible, almost God like. Which is pretty ironic. Because you can only have faith when you have given up the urge to control anything in your life. And modern definition of ‘God’ is a super being who is in control of everything.
How to have faith?
I can’t explain how it came. There is no step by step process to this. Except I did do one very specific thing. Every day I sincerely began counting my wins as opposed to my losses. As every human being I have a habit of looking at the worst and assuming the worst as well. I always calculate ‘how wrong things can go’ faster than ‘how right things can go’.
So I started the exercise along with my parents, to look at the positives in life. I had this habit before also, but I began doing it more intensely.
I thought this exercise will help me bring a balance in my life. I will finally be able to see that life is a mix of good and bad in equal parts.
Instead, my conclusion is something completely different.
I have realised inspite of all the ‘bad’ the ‘good’ outweighs it all. Life may be 50% positive and 50% negative, scientifically.
But honestly, the 50% positive makes the negative look like a microscopic amount. Because it is proof that no matter how much bad happens in your life, there will enough goodness to give you comfort.
In spite of what all happened in the past month, I have realised how valuable and precious my life is.
I come from a family full of culture. Concept of culture is frowned upon these days. Culture is nothing but a collection of knowledge collected over generations and passed on. This knowledge helps you make your life smoother and gives you a set foundation for success. My upbringing and familial relations reflect the culture and this has helped me be so stable with regards to my own personal well-being. I know where to ‘draw the line’, and what path exactly to choose because of this.
My friends and social circle accepts me unconditionally. My personality is pretty conventional and I haven’t really ‘raged’ against the system in any of the realest sense, and I don’t intend to. But even I have my crazy days and days where I lose my emotional balance. Somehow I have been gifted with friends who have accepted me unconditionally. Who have been unafraid to speak the truth and been an inspiration over all. I also think it is wonderful how they have helped me see everything with a pinch of sense of humour.
The books I have read, the media I have been exposed to and the knowledge that I have dipped into has always got me clarity in thought and continues to do so. I may not be entirely sure where my ‘career’ is going, but I am sure my knowledge has helped me gain insights to life which an 80 year old may have at this point in her life. And I hope to continue to build on this particular aspect of my life. For this I especially have to thank my teachers and other fellow human beings who have knowingly or unknowingly shared their knowledge with me.
This blogpost is pretty much a way to thank the universe from the bottom of my heart for filling my life with such wonderful experiences and human beings. I promise to keep working at making my stable and ensuring that I lead a healthy, wealthy and happy life and so do others around me :) #ThankYouUniverse #ILoveYou
P.S. I apologise for all the grammatical errors, it is written way too close to my bedtime. :P
