The Future
Sometimes life gets so fuzzy, that you want to have a fast-forward button just to quickly go and see how it all turns out!
I wish I could do that today. I got married in 2021/22 (we are one of those couples who had two weddings) and moved to the UK with my husband.
Ever since then, our lives have been wonderful, but also full of uncertainties. Will our visas get extended? Will we have to change homes after our rent contract is up? Or will we have the option to continue here? Will our lives be good and grow?
My husband, lucky for me, is amazing in the face of uncertainties. He looks at them, laughs, and has a very ‘happy in the moment attitude. ‘Jo hoga dekha jayega’ (we will see whatever happens)kind of mentality. But for me? I have a supremely analytical attitude. I cannot but think of a million possibilities and obsess over each of them.
This can be better described, when we watch a thrilling or suspense-filled movie he would calm watch and enjoy scene by scene. But, I would secretly go online to read the plot while the movie is on. I cannot stand even 2 hours in the ‘unknown’. I always need to know how it all turns out!
This definitely is reflective in both our perceptions of life. And you can only imagine if 2 hours of the unknown makes me uneasy, how will uncertainties about weeks, months, and years make me feel.
I have been contemplating ‘thinking positive’ a lot. I used to be an overly optimistic person, don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed it. I still do think that whatever happens, I will be happy. But what is ‘going’ to happen, is what I want to know. Why? So that I can adjust my emotional reaction to the situation. But perhaps this isn’t the best way to be. I perhaps ought to change my thinking pattern, or life and all the ‘uncertainties’ that are bound to come will get the best of me.
I wonder how will I ever imbibe positive thinking in my mind. Let us hope future Sangita has some answers.
Also, I am super happy that I am blogging more often :) Gives me such a peace of mind to have this space. Thank you for reading! :)
