Who owes you? And whom do you owe?

While I am in the study of human ego, and trying to understand my own — I have come across something rather funny.

We humans (definitely including me) believe that the world owes us something. This gross misconception is the beginning of all our misery.

On a regular basis we believe ‘You owe me such and such privilege because I am a woman/tax payer/your daughter,” or whatever other reasons you can make up. We believe so strongly that the world “owes” us happiness at this point.

Let’s make it clear then shall we? Nobody in this world, in fact in this whole universe (observable and otherwise) owes you anything.

You owe it to yourself to be good, wise, and act in a disciplined manner in this world. You owe it to yourself to maintain that sanity in you and become more aware, conscious and wiser as you grow. But do not think of your ‘good deeds’ as a product, for which you expect some form of remuneration in return from the world.

Once in a while we are repaid, but that is just bonus, and we should rather show gratitude instead of thinking ‘Well, that is because of my good deed.’ What a load of rubbish we humans buy into.

I recently watched a young couple argue in front of me, it kind of bothered me how little I knew about them and yet how easily I could understand their predicament. They both believed the other ‘owed’ something to them.

If your premise of any relationship is going to be on the fact that this is going to be an exchange of ‘services’ then you might as well sign up for an asylum later in life. Cause this kind of expectation will only eventually lead to madness. No relationships, including the one you forge with your career, jobs, peers, kids and family, is based on equal give and take.

We can hope for integrity, honesty, kindness, compassion and many more things from others. But we certainly cannot claim ‘ownership’ to such forms of reciprocation.

This bothers me that a lot of times. I myself have taken this stance where I would regularly question, “when am I going to get repaid?”

Life is easier when you realise that there is only one person who owes you something and you have all the right to ask — it is you. You owe yourself honesty and integrity and your relationship with yourself is the only one where you can expect equal give and take. :)

Well, that’s a lot of mumbling for a Tuesday night.